Any other moms out there starting to get the end of the school year blues? That vague sense of foreboding that comes with knowing that you will no longer be getting a 6-hour break every day while the little darlings are in school?
Yeah. Me, too.
So my kids are apparently putting in extra practice time lately, you know, for the marathon of bickering that will commence promptly at 8 a.m. on June 15.
The typical practice session begins innocently enough…one of them makes eye contact with the other. Then the real competition begins.
“You’re so rude!”
“What did I do?”
“You did such-and-such.” Spoken incredulously, with shock that the offending party did not realize that such-and-such was being done.
Highly offended. “Did not! You did X.”
“Only cause you did such-and such.”
“No, I didn’t, and stop being such a jerk!”
“I’m only being a jerk because YOU’RE being a jerk!!”
Rising hysteria ensues. Accusations fly. He’s coming out on top. No. Wait! She’s raised his yell with a screech.
The competitors are oblivious to the bleeding ears of the captive parental audience at the other end of the house.
Finally, unable to stand any more, the maternal portion of the audience breaks. “Shut up, both of you, right this minute!!”
Blissful silence ensues.
For 15 seconds.
Then the whisper fighting portion of the competition begins.
The audience escapes out the back door to go somewhere peaceful to contemplate getting an outside-the-home job again.